Helga's Homecoming
by SDZero
Summary: Please review otherwise...I'll do it.  I'll make sure my final threat is not an empty one.
1. Helga's Homecoming

Helga's Homecoming By Shadow D. X  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard.  
  
The young lady stepped off the bus as it stopped its last stop from the airport. She looked at the clash of gray skies and grimy rooftops, taking a deep breath of the stale air of Seattle. The woman, dressed in a zipped up tan leather jacket, black flat-heel shoes, and black slacks, smiled to herself behind a pair of brown tinted sunglasses as she adjusted the hair clip that kept her blonde ponytail in place. "Good to be home."  
  
It had been almost 14 years since the day Helga left her childhood home to study in a magnet school in Vermont while living with her aunt Vera. There wasn't much keeping her here when she made the decision; she wasn't really well liked in school, Big Bob and Miriam couldn't win parents of the year if they had until the skies freeze, not to mention surprise visits from 'Olga'. But there were a few things holding her here, Phoebe, of course, being her best friend and all, and Arnold. Arnold.if it was just her new life of artistic freedom against her old one with Arnold, she would stay in this hell just to see his smile. But Arnold wasn't a factor for her leaving; in fact, there was no Arnold. Before Helga even knew about this new opportunity to develop her artistic talent in Vermont, Arnold left. He was so confident of himself that day he got on the plane; certain everything was going to go his way. After graduation, he said goodbye to all of us at PS 118 that he finally saved enough money to fly to South America and follow the map on the back of his father's journal. Helga, still hesitant to show her true feelings, asked why he would do such a bonehead thing. Arnold just smiled and said it was fate. So he left, not knowing that Helga was watching him board the small charter plane to Rio, where he said he would meet up with his father's old friend, Eduardo. After the plane took off, Helga just stopped. She stopped writing her poems, she stopped musing about a life with Arnold, and she even covered her Arnold shaped gum shrine with an old winter coat so she wouldn't be able to look at it again. Soon a recruiter from a writing magnet school in Vermont offered her a guaranteed position in the freshman class with all expenses paid. With Arnold gone, she agreed to go with little regret.  
  
Now, 25 years old, Helga has come home to where her fire of creativity was first lit by a boy with a football shaped head. In a way, Arnold was responsible for Helga's success as a professional author and poet. She wasn't sure why she came now; maybe she was hoping to see Arnold one last time. With a bulky travel bag tight in her hand, she walked down the streets she had once walked down by so many years ago. So many changes, so many timeless spots gone, Green's meats was now a Starbucks, the Circle Theater converted to a multiplex. "Childhood memories, where at thou?" Helga mused. As she continued down the street, something familiar caught her eye. "I can't believe it's still here," she said, looking at a group of 4th graders playing baseball in the old vacant lot, Gerald's Field. She silently stood there as she watched them, the new generation, play the game she once loved playing when she was their age. It was one of the few precious moments in her life, even though she took it for granted back then. She wondered, how many of those kids were the sons and daughters of old PS 118's graduates? She kept walking on with a laugh after realizing they were too old for that to be true.  
  
Helga began to feel hungry so she ducked into a near by café to grab a bite to eat. Sitting down at the counter, she was surprised by a slightly familiar face attached to the waitress behind the counter. "Helga Pataki? Is that you?" asked the waitress with a green shirt. Helga lowered her sunglass to see a tall, lanky woman with shoulder length almond hair. "Sheena?" asked Helga. Once it sank in that Sheena has not changed in any way, Helga folded her sunglasses on the counter, laughing. "You're still tall I see." "Wow Helga, no one ever though you would come back here. But here you are, in my café!" said Sheena. "When did you buy a café?" asked Helga. "After I pooled all my savings with Eugene and bought the area to make one," She replied. Helga's eyes shot open in shook. "Wait a minute, you wasted your whole life savings to partner with Eugene? Crimany Sheena, when are those insurance premiums going to drive you two bankrupt?" "Oh Helga, don't be silly. Eugene isn't that clumsy, he's a great cook. Besides we're getting married in just five months once we fill out our taxes for this year." Helga's jaw then dropped like a lead weight. "Married? You and Eugene?" "Of course Helga. Eugene and I have been going steady since high school; this is just the next step for us." "Well that's all I wanted to know. How about a cup-of-joe, I've had a long flight and I need the caffeine."  
  
Sheen smiled and went to get Helga's coffee while Helga just sat there, laughing at the thought of Eugene and Sheena marrying. Sheena slid a cup of hot coffee toward Helga with a quite smile, going off to serve the other customers. Helga looked down at the dark, steaming coffee, remembering how much it reminded her of the mud that caked her dressed her first day of preschool. It was a sign of things to come for her; her parents ignoring her, life doing all it can to bring her down. Then came her ray of sunshine, her baby Romeo with an umbrella, Arnold. How sweet, even back then, always thinking of others. But those times are gone and dead now, thinking of them would only open old scars that took so long to heal. She took a long sip of her coffee, looking around the café for any other familiar face other than Sheena behind the counter or Eugene, with the same green shirt uniform as Sheena with combed back red hair, serving the customers in the booths. In the corner she saw brunette woman, not very tall, dressed in a powder blue skirt suit and green-rimmed glasses eating a slice of toast. This woman tugged at Helga's curiosity so she stood and walked towards her as to get a better look at her face. When she was only a few feet away, she knew it was her old friend Phoebe. "Phoebe?" she asked. Helga thought just then how embarrassing this would be if she were wrong. The powder blue dressed woman looked up and gasped.  
  
"Helga! It's you!" she said, shooting out of her seat. "This is so exciting, I never thought I'd see you again. I've read all your published works, I see Vermont has really inspired you." Helga smiled. "Phebes, the last thing I want to talk about now is my professional career so just drop it," said Helga. Phoebe smiled. "Dropping. Oh Helga, it's really great to see you after all these years," she said. The two reunited shared a quick hug before sitting down at the corner booth. "So what brings you back to Seattle? Ice cream?" "Huh?" "You know what I mean." "Oh," Helga sighed, looking down at the table. "He's in South America, remember?" "Actually Arnold was only gone for 6 years before coming back home, with his parents no less. He seemed so happy to finally be with them," Phoebe said. Helga looked up, her eyes with hope. "He came back? Is he still here? Has he changed much?" Helga asked frantically. Phoebe giggled. "Yes he came back, he still lives in the boarding house, and the only thing about him that's changed is his.well all I can say is that he grew up," Phoebe said, stammering lightly near the end. Helga raised her eyebrow slightly. "Phoebe, is there something you're not telling me?" she asked. Phoebe soon became nervous, a look of guilt on her face. "Well.to be honest, when Arnold came back he had traveled the world with his family. He had become this handsome.romantic man, not the boy we remember. And we.sort of.dated." Helga almost fell right off her seat; the shock left her speechless for a few moments. "You what?!" Helga shrieked. "Helga, this was a long time ago. We were seniors, he took me out for dinner after a study session and we.started kissing. And then kissing lead to making out and later we were fooling around. I'm not your servant girl anymore Helga, I was my own woman ever since you left and Arnold was already dating a lot of girls then," Phoebe stated. "Fooling around?" "Don't blow a gasket, all we did was soft stuff, no penetration. In fact I think he's still a virgin, he's too honest to do that and not get married or at least get serious with a girl."  
  
Helga slowly began to calm down and gave out a heavy sigh. "I guess I have no right to be mad since I did leave," Helga said, looking down at the table. Phoebe stayed quite for a moment. "You're eye brows are separated," she pointed out. "Huh?" asked Helga, looking up towards her. "Oh that, electrolysis for 5 months. Tell me Phebes, what are you doing now?" "Well, I graduated with honors from Harvard Law and I'm now a lawyer for the greater metropolitan area," replied Phoebe. "A lawyer?" "Things change Helga, people change, I changed." "But some things never change huh?" "You want to see him don't you?" "I'm not sure if I have the nerve anymore. I've been married once but ever since junior high I've been dead inside." "Maybe you need to return to your roots, find your lost passion for.well.passion." Helga smiled. "You mean back to my room." "Well your parents still live there and I've never seen them touch anything in your room." "Thanks Phebes. How about later we grab a bite to eat?" Phoebe smiled and stood to her feet. "Meet you here at 9?" she asked. "Nah, swing by my parent's instead," Helga responded. She stood up and the two reunited friends shared a warm hug. Phoebe left and Helga went back to her half empty cup of coffee. "Hey Sheena, I'm done with this, just give me the bill." Sheena turned to Helga from the register and smiled. "No charge Helga," she said. "Thanks Sheena." Helga slid her sunglass back on her face and left the café. She now was going to deal with the darkest skeleton in her closet - Miriam and Bob. 


	2. That Old Magic Feeling

Helga's Homecoming Chapter 2 That Old Magic Feeling by Shadow D. X  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard. I might have neglected this last time, but please R&R, I'm a rookie in this site.  
  
Helga stood there on the sidewalk, almost gawking upon her old home. It was like time has stood still for this old two-story house while Helga was gone. So many unpleasant childhood memories lay dormant within those walls, and she knew it. But if Phoebe was right about nothing ever being thrown out of her room, it would be worth reliving every bad memory to see her old poem books and her closet shrine to Arnold. She walked slowly to the front door and pressed her finger on the doorbell. Within a few moments, the door was thrown open by the one person Helga wish she would never see again. "Little sister, your back home!" shouted a now older Olga with glee. The years have been kind to Olga, just like academics, men, and her parents. She had her hair neatly cut on shoulder length just like she did during her college days and her ever-sickening beauty was just as unsettling to Helga as ever. Also her wearing a man sized white dress shirt with no pants made Helga think that Olga got married while she was gone. Before Helga could say anything, her perfect older sister wrapped her arms around Helga's leather jacket and hugged for all she's worth. "Oh little sister, I'm so happy to see you! We have so much to catch up with and I want to hear everything you've done."  
  
Helga struggled for a moment before she was able to break Olga's hug. "Crimany Olga, ever heard of this new thing called personal space?" protested Helga.  
  
"Oh Helga, you're so silly!" squealed Olga. "Now come in you silly sister, you have to say hello to mom and dad."  
  
Helga's frustration quickly turned to emotionless depression. "Oh yeah, Bob and Miriam. Hey, wait minute Olga. You're a straight 'A' student and you graduated college like a decade ago, why are you living here?" asked Helga.  
  
Olga giggled. "Oh Helga, you're so inquisitive my baby sister. I'm just visiting with my oh-so wonderful husband Arnold," said Olga with glee.  
  
(Just making sure you're all paying attention. It's not Arnold so don't send any hate mail or hate viruses; his name is really Michael)  
  
"So you got married huh? When did that happened?" asked Helga with empty curiosity.  
  
"Well, I met Michael while I was teaching Inuit children up north in Alaska. He was a member of Green Peace and his team was there to protest against an offshore oilrig. Well lucky for me, the long weekend just started that day so I was able to go with them to protest. Afterwards, Michael and me feel in love, married two years later, and moved here to Seattle to live the rest of our life together as a happy family!"  
  
"That explains your shirt. So how are Bob and Miriam?" asked Helga.  
  
"Oh, we're about to sit down and play a game of charades. Why won't you join us little sister?" asked Olga who was already dragging her to the living room. "Come on Helga."  
  
"Ok just stop dragging me already!" Helga shouted trying to pull away from Olga's grip.  
  
"Just let me use the bathroom alright?"  
  
Olga complied with a smile. "Oh, sure thing little sister. I hope you still remember where it is," she said.  
  
"I'll be fine," scowled Helga. Grateful to be free of Olga, she threw her bag by the door and began to rush upstairs. Thankfully Olga fell for that bathroom ruse so now all Helga had to do was get around that little brunette girl and get into her room. Wait, little brunette girl?  
  
The little girl timidly looked up at Helga with glassy blue eyes. "Who are you," she asked. She must be no older than eight years old and by the way her hair falls evenly to her shoulders, she must have had her hair done like Olga's, probably by Olga.  
  
"Helga G. Pataki and I used to live here. How about you, bucko?" Helga asked.  
  
"I'm Heidi, Heidi Pataki Trent but I really shouldn't talk to strangers," said the girl.  
  
Helga blinked in shock. "Pataki? You mean you're Olga's daughter?"  
  
"She's my mommy.do you know her?"  
  
Helga smirked. "Kid, I really sympathize for you but you're luck just turned around. I'm your rich aunt Helga," Helga said with pride.  
  
"Mommy told me about you. She said you wet the bed until you were my age," said Heidi. Helga groaned after hearing that. "Something wrong aunt Helga?"  
  
"Yeah kid, but I'm not going to trouble you with it since you're life must be perfect. I bet your mom just loves to spend oh so many hours with you, doing whatever you want to do."  
  
Heidi looked down at the floor. "Actually, my mommy does play with me a lot but."  
  
She stayed silent for a moment before looking Helga in the eye. "Sometimes I think mommy wants me to be more like her. She keeps making me play these weird games, telling me their fun because they help me learn about other cultures. But all I want to do is play with my friends and stay in my room."  
  
Helga smiled and took Heidi by her hand. "Kid, you and I are going to get along great. So how about we take you down to wherever your friends play so you can join them?"  
  
Heidi's face was soon lit with joy. "You mean it aunt Helga?"  
  
"Sure. I know how overbearing Olga is when she's trying to be the perfect everything. So, where do your friends play anyway?"  
  
"At an empty lot on 7th street. It makes a great baseball field."  
  
Helga laughed after Heidi just told her that her friend's ball field was Gerald's field. "Ok kid, let's go 7th street then. Put on some street clothes though, ok?"  
  
"Ok!" squealed Heidi with glee as she raced to Olga's old room.  
  
Helga walked back downstairs and went inside the living room. They already began playing charades there, Olga making gestures, Miriam, dressed in a blue house dress, was watching half asleep behind her glasses, Big Bob was shouting guesses from his recliner, and finally there was a black haired man wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants sitting cross legged on the floor. Most likely this must be Michael, the man who was stupid enough to marry Olga. When Olga saw Helga, she quickly stopped making signs and waved to her. "Hey Helga, come over here!" Olga shouted.  
  
Big Bob groaned. "Come on Olga, how am I suppose to guess what you're signing when you're not signing?" he complained.  
  
Helga scowled lightly. She wasn't really surprised neither he nor Miriam had even taken the effort to acknowledge her existence but it was still annoying. "Actually Olga, I'm here to tell you that I'm taking Heidi for a walk so we can catch up," said Helga.  
  
This took Olga off guard. "I think that might not be such a good idea Helga. Heidi is really shy around strangers and we already made plans to play charades today," she said.  
  
Helga grinned. "Come on Olga. Are you going to deny your daughter a chance to be with her aunt?" asked Helga. "Besides, I'll bring her back before lunch time."  
  
Olga smiled uncertainly. "Well, I suppose your right Helga. Just make sure Heidi doesn't get into any trouble, ok? Oh, and if you can, there's an excellent foreign film for children playing at the Circle Theater I think might be very educational for little Heidi's culture growth."  
  
"I'll be sure to toss that suggestion right by her sis," said Helga with dry sarcasm. A few moments later, Heidi ran down to Helga's side with a pair of blue jeans, sneakers, and a lightly tinted pink shirt. "Well, we're out of here," said Helga, leading Heidi quickly out the door.  
  
Michael turned to Olga. "Love, are you sure you're sister is a good influence on our Heidi?" he asked.  
  
"Oh Michael, Helga is such a creative and original thinking woman even when she was 9. I'm sure she'll be a great role model to Heidi," said Olga with what little confidence she had.  
  
Miriam slowly sat up straight and adjusted her glasses. "Oh, is Helga here? I'll go make some.um." was all she said before trailing off.  
  
Helga and Heidi walked down to Gerald's field where a few kids were already playing a game of baseball. As Heidi ran over to join her friends, Helga remembered all those games when she played catcher when she was Heidi's age, always trash talking to anyone holding a bat, getting a close look at Arnold's legs when he wasn't looking at her. Her dread of going back home was now replaced with fond memories and happiness, all thanks to this brunette version of herself; a girl encaged trapped by the Pataki curse. Heidi began to cry after a few words with a rather plump boy and ran back to Helga. "Aunt Helga, Larry called me a name," whined Heidi.  
  
"Tch, so? Go over there and call him a name back," said Helga.  
  
"But mommy said it's mean to call people names and if it happens I should always go to an adult," explained Heidi.  
  
Helga rolled her eyes. "Watch and learn kid." Helga walked toward the plump Larry while he was still laughing at his own joke. "Hey! Pink boy! You mess with my niece again and you're going to answer to Old Betsy and the Five (actually four) Avengers!"  
  
"Wait your fists have names? Ah! You're confusing me!" shouted the pudgy Larry before running down the sidewalk. Helga wondered if he might be Harold's son.  
  
Heidi just stood there while Helga walked back to her, adjusting her sunglasses. "That wasn't very nice thing to do," said Heidi.  
  
"Sometimes you got to be mean and nasty or else everyone's going to walk all over you. Take it from me bucko, drop your mom's nice girl lessons and live by your own rules, be your own woman and show some dignity,"  
  
"But my mommy said that being nice can make me lots of friends."  
  
"That's your mom decision for you, isn't there anything you like to do that your mom didn't suggest for you?"  
  
Heidi smiled widely and led Helga down the block until they reached a music instrument store. "I learned how to play guitar in school but mommy says I shouldn't keep myself bounded with only one form of artistic expression."  
  
"What? What does she know about artistic expression? Kid, today you're getting a guitar," said Helga. Heidi's face busted with jubilance as Helga opened the door and walked her into the store. Inside Heidi ran to the guitar section, almost fainting as the owner handed her a redwood guitar. "Don't worry, I'll pay for anything she wants," Helga said when the owner began seem unsure about letting Heidi hold the guitar. Helga wrote a check and took Heidi back home, guitar and all.  
  
Helga would have to wait until later to see how cheesed off Olga would be at her when she sees Heidi's guitar because now it was time for business. She raced up the stairs and quickly ducked into her old room, locking the door tight behind her as not to be disturbed. Phoebe was right; everything was just how she left it. Besides being a little dusty, it was perfect in every detail. But what was really important was the closet. She slowly walked to her closet and gently turned the handle. All the clothes she left behind were still there, hooked in midair by wire hangers, her shoes neatly aligned under her clothes. Helga took one breath, pushed aside the clothes, and clapped her hands twice. A light came on from her old clapper bulb. Amazing how long those things last. But what was more amazing was her pre-chewed gum meditating Arnold statue and her stack of poetry books in their appropriate place. The only thing that was different was a layer of dust and a few cobwebs. Helga dropped to her knees, feeling all those old emotions flooding her. She remembered not only every word of every poem she ever written but every emotion she felt when she wrote them. Love, bliss, passion, despair, anger, sorrow; all those emotions she had once thought had died within her. In the moment, she throws her arms around the shrine and began to sob happily. "Oh Arnold, my childhood Adonis, my football-headed cherub, how I've missed you're deep eyes, your soothing voice," she swooned. In the midst of her emotional outburst, she caught a foreign object on the corner of her eye. She turned her head to the side and suddenly felt all her glee turn to woe. An old razor blade, stained with dry blood, laying next to the stack of books.  
  
She remembered the day after Arnold left to find his parents in South America, she had reached the lowest emotional state in her life. She was sitting in her room, sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow when she decided that a life without Arnold was not worth living. Going into the bathroom, she pulled the blade off of one of Bob's razors and held it to her wrist. Her hands were shaking terribly, she knew well enough that one firm rip can tear open her veins and kill her. Tears were over following her eyes as she remembered all the times she fouled up her opportunities to confess her love to Arnold only to ridicule him. Miriam and Bob had just left to visit their accountant so Helga didn't worry about anyone trying to stop her, though she doubted Bob cared enough to stop her for anything more than wasting one of his razors. She lifted the razor high into the air and before she could give a downward slice the phone rang. This caught he off guard, making her cut her forearm instead of her wrist. In both panic and great pain, she quickly poured rubbing alcohol on a towel and wrapped it around the cut. Fighting back the sting of the alcohol on her arm, she quickly ran to the phone and picked it up. It was Phoebe, telling her that she was worried about her ever since Arnold left. That call saved Helga's life and her sanity. After knowing there was at least one person in this world genuinely cared about her, she stopped being depressed and suicidal but it left her cold and emotionless. Back in reality, she released her grip from the shrine and picked up the razor. She closed her eyes. "My god.I almost killed myself then. What if Arnold changed, what if he has a lover, what if.I confess myself to him and he rejects me?" She stared at the blade for a moment and wedged it into one of the hands of the shrine. "If I can not get Arnold this time, I'll make sure I don't miss my wrists. This I vow." 


	3. Right Football Head, Wrong Blonde

Helga's Homecoming Chapter 3 Right Football Head, Wrong Blonde by Shadow D. X  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard. Please R&R, if you like to see some more cameos here, I'm accepting all suggestions.  
  
After hours of reading every page of every book that had lain dormant inside her closet, Helga stopped after there was a knock on the door. After clapping the lights off, she leapt out the closet, closed the swinging door shut, and answered the knock. It was Heidi with her new guitar strapped to her back. Helga remembered hearing her playing in the background while she was reading; it was almost as if every note she played matched every emotion of every word. The kid had talent, just bad surroundings. "Aunt Helga, 9 o'clock, its time for dinner," said the young brunette guitarist.  
  
Helga smirked and messed up her niece's hair. "Sorry kid, I made plans to go out at 9 tonight. But before I go, I'm going to change clothes," Helga said.  
  
Heidi seemed downtrodden by this. "You're leaving? But I love spending time with you aunt Helga."  
  
"And ever since I met you, I've had a blast spending time with you.away from here. I promise we'll spend all day together tomorrow but right now; I have an old friend to catch up with." Helga bent down in one knee and pressed her finger on Heidi's nose. "Beep!" Heidi laughed and went downstairs, closing the door behind her. Helga changed to a pair of black leather pants, a white long sleeve button shirt, black high heels, and her hair hung free, falling down below her shoulders. She looked at herself in the mirror, striking a quick pose. "Now that's 'It Girl' material." She almost busted a gut. She took a purse from her travel bag, filled it with cash and credit cards, not to mention some other essentials (I don't care if she is Helga G. Pataki, every woman carries makeup in their purse). Now that she was dressed for a night out, she left her room, zipped down the stairs, and before reaching the door, she saw Miriam waiting patiently for her. "Mom? I thought you were all going to sit down for dinner?"  
  
"Well Helga, I just took my anti-depressant medication and I remembered hearing your name earlier today but I haven't seen you. In fact, I haven't seen you in years and I really missed you Helga honey," Miriam said. Something was different about her now. Besides her blonde hair showing deep gray streaks, she seems to be more alert now then ever. Helga immediately tied that to anti-depressants.  
  
"Mom, I didn't know you were taking any medications."  
  
"Well, it's only been a few years now. The doctor said that I was suffering from years of repressed.emotional trauma and that's why.I was always so.what's the word?"  
  
Helga shot a sarcastic look. "Disoriented?"  
  
"That's it. So Helga, I've heard a lot about you lately. Number 3 best selling book on the top ten list, runner up for Poet Lauriat, you've really turned out amazing. I'm so proud of you."  
  
Helga blinked in shock. "You followed my career and.you're proud of me? Why? What about Olga?"  
  
Miriam smiled. "Helga, I know I wasn't the best mother to you but I really love both of you the same. Sure, Olga caught your father's attention with all her awards and her grades but back then, I was a mess and well I just went with whatever B said."  
  
"Wow.I guess I thought you were always."  
  
"A bad mother? Oh Helga, don't you remember that I told you I used to be a champion bull rider? I was always on top form but somewhere in my life, I just.well, blanked out."  
  
Helga looked down, ashamed now of always thinking Miriam was just lazy and now seeing that it was just a condition. "Mom, I'm sorry, but I have to go."  
  
"Well, whenever you're ready to talk I'll still be here." Miriam happily hugged her estranged daughter and left for the dinning room. This is the most normal Helga has ever seen her.  
  
Once outside, Phoebe pulls up to the driveway with a powder blue 03' BMW sports car convertible. Apparently being a Harvard lawyer means earning enough money to buy the best toys. Helga walked over to the passenger side and hoped into her seat over the locked door. "Ok Phebes, where can two single, successful women grab a decent bite to eat in this old burg?" asked Helga in her old fashion arrogance.  
  
Phoebe smiled and pushed her hair back behind her ears. Tonight she was dressed in a very flattering red sleeveless oriental dress. "Well Helga, since this is your first time back in years, how about we go somewhere filled with single men and have some fun?" asked Phoebe. Now considering this used to be the smartest mousy girl in school, hearing her talk about man hunting was enough to throw Helga into an even deeper loop then after talking with Miriam. While Helga chuckled to herself how many things have changed, Phoebe's face became serious, almost mournful, as she turned to Helga. "Or would you rather go.have ice cream?"  
  
"Huh?" Helga turned to Phoebe who was giving her that look that she knew exactly what ice cream meant. "Oh yeah.ice cream. Do you know if he'll be out tonight?"  
  
Phoebe nodded. "I'm pretty sure he'll be downtown, a bar and grill place called Park's"  
  
"Then let's go there, I'm ready to close this chapter of my life." Phoebe smiled and peeled out all the way downtown, zipping through cars like she was in a street race. She soon pulled up to a parking valet and threw him the keys. They both went inside together, turning a few heads for all the right reasons. They stride confidently to the bar and sat down together, letting the dark atmosphere soak in. Phoebe ordered a screwdriver while Helga simply ordered a bottle of Rolling Stone beer. "So Phebes, you come to places like this often? You're look too good in that dress to keep yourself at home."  
  
Phoebe giggled and took a sip of her screwdriver. "I admit, I've been hopping a few singles places on the weekend, looking for a new guy. But this is the first time I've done this with anyone else," said Phoebe. After a while they drank their drinks and split an order of chicken fingers. After a few hours, Phoebe nudged Helga's arm and signaled to the door with her head. "I think that's him but it's too dark to tell."  
  
Helga looked back but the crowd was blocking her view to the front door. With a quick breath, Helga grabbed her near empty beer bottle and made her way through the crowd, looking for any head that looks like a football. Helga looked everywhere; the tables, the bar stools, the standing crowds laughing and watching the football games on TV, but no Arnold. She tried to make a quick turn back to Phoebe but was stopped by a standing body. She lost her balance and started to fall forward until something held her up straight. "Hey, are you ok?" Helga looked up to see a tall, blonde man with a head that was shorter vertically than normal and wider like a certain game ball. "I think you had to much to drink tonight."  
  
Helga was in shock, it was Arnold; full grown, drop dead hot Arnold. "A.Arnold?"  
  
Arnold smiled and helped her up. "Well you know my name, how about giving me yours? No, wait. I know what your name is." Helga was about to melt right there, he's still the nicest person on the planet and he remembers her after all this time. "You're name must be Angel, since you feel down from heaven and into my arms."  
  
Ok, so Arnold was just trying to be a smooth operator with a cheesy pickup line, no big deal, he's still cute. His hair was tamed now, combed back stopping just above the shoulders, his eyes were just as blue as they had always been, and he looked pretty good in a burgundy long sleeve and designer blue jeans. Helga smiled and propped herself back on feet. "Close, but you're wrong. I'm-." Then it hit her; she couldn't say Helga G. Pataki. He doesn't recognize her because the unibrow was gone and her hair wasn't in pigtails, Doi! This would probably be easier if she were that annoying Lila or even Ruth, Ruth would have a better chance than Helga. Wait, Arnold lost interest in Ruth the night she pretended to be Cecile. It's a long shot, but this awkward silence isn't helping anyone. "I.I'm Cecile."  
  
Arnold thought for a moment before he looked surprised. "Wait, Cecile, the blonde Cecile from 15 years ago? I've never been able to find you after Valentine's Day, where were you hiding?" he asked, staring into her eyes.  
  
Helga started to get that bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She quickly found a way to steer the conversation. "Oh shit, I spilled beer over your shirt."  
  
Arnold looked down at the wet spot and simply shrugged as if it didn't bother him. "That's ok, I can always clean it later. But if you're going to feel guilty about it, how about we go see a movie?"  
  
Man, this guy has grown up to be a smooth operator, just 5 minutes after bumping into him and he's already asking for a date. But did Helga let this stop her from accepting Arnold's generous offer? (.If you think she will, please press the back button on you're web browser and watch atleast one episode of Hey Arnold). Helga smiled. "Sure, sounds like fun." Just as much fun as pretending to be someone else.again. "I just have to use the bathroom before going." Helga quickly ran to the bar, grabbed Phoebe by the arm and dragged her into the ladies restroom. "Phoebe, I just made a date with Arnold!"  
  
Phoebe busted with joy for her friend. "Oh Helga that's so great! You're first day back and not only did you overcame your fear of intimacy for Arnold but you already have a date with him," Phoebe said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, if you have to talk to me and I'm with Arnold, it's important you call me Cecile. It's simple, without Arnold, I'm Helga, with Arnold, I'm Cecile. Please tell me you'll remember."  
  
Phoebe sighed and shook her head. "Oh Helga, why are you doing this to yourself? Did you even try to be true to yourself when you saw Arnold?"  
  
"Phoebe, when the time comes, I'll tell him the truth. But right now, I'm the girl who pretended to be his French pen pal 15 years ago to get close to him. So you see, it's not even that big a lie since I am trying to get close to him since kindergarten."  
  
"But Helga, your problem is being honest about your feelings to Arnold. This isn't helping because he'll be on a date with Cecile not Helga."  
  
"I know this isn't the way it should go but it's all I have now Phebes. I'll meet you tomorrow and tell you how it went, alright?"  
  
Phoebe just stared at her for a while before sighing in defeat. "Sure Helga, whatever you say."  
  
Helga felt like shit for living a lie but there wasn't any option for her now. She was Cecile and that's it. After leaving the bathroom, she quickly found Arnold and went to his side with a big smile. "Ready for that movie you promised me," she said. Arnold responded by throwing his arm around her shoulder and walking her out the door. He was so different now, so filled with confidence but without crossing the line to being a jerk. She wondered if she should have asked Phoebe how he acted while they used to date. On second thought, it would probably make her so jealous that she would punch Phoebe in the face. Arnold took her into his car; a black and red trimmed 65' Mustang. Arnold sure had good taste in cars. They drove off into the night, Arnold casually looking over Helga, still thinking she was Cecile, whenever he had a chance. They soon pulled into a drive thru theater and parked in an isolated corner. Helga's mind was racing with ideas of what was going to happen. Of course it was obvious; a late night movie in a drive thru theater, parked all alone in a corner away from prying eyes. "So.nice car," Helga mustered, feeling herself become very flushed.  
  
Arnold smirked snuggly. "Thanks, it was a gift from my parents," he said. He put his hand around her, gently massaging her shoulder to get her in the mood. Oh if only he knew how ready she really was to give herself to him right there.  
  
Helga fidgeted nervously and smiled. "So you found your parents huh? Tell me about them," Helga said. She was way too nervous to go on; maybe this will cool Arnold down.  
  
Arnold stopped his gentle massage and smiled. "You heard about that huh? Well I guess going to South America to find your lost parents does count as news worth spreading. So you want to know about my parents in general or after I found them in South America?"  
  
Helga sighed in relief and smiled at Arnold. "When you found them sounds fun."  
  
Arnold smiled back and looked up at the ceiling of his car. "Alright then, here goes. It was the third month of my search and my life savings was down to nothing but a hundred dollars. Everything seemed bleak even though I had the map in my father's journal and help from his old friend, Eduardo. We were flying around the mountains near the old Incan empire when I saw out the corner of my eye a crash landed propeller plane. When we landed to take a closer look, we found my parents, alive, and living with a tribe of natives. After a few hours after our reunion, we got back on the scout plane and flew back to Rio. When everything was back to normal and all the right paperwork was filled out, my parents were once again my legal guardians and all of their past information and bank accounts were restored like nothing ever happened. We even celebrated our family reunion by actually going around the world to every major city in every major country. Everywhere we went and did, we were always together. When they went on expeditions, I went along with them, when there was a big national event going on, we watched it together. This pretty much lasted about 5 years before we came right here. My dad became co owner of my grandfather's boarding house and my mom became a local nurse since she's a medical graduate. And that's it, we all live in the old boarding house and we're pretty much happy."  
  
Helga had calmed down and listened inventively to every word he said. "Wow, that's so amazing. I had no idea you led such an interesting life." Helga smiled and Arnold leaned over to her and kissed her softly on cheek. Helga's face turned beet red. "What was that for?" she asked, embarrassed.  
  
Arnold smiled warmly at her. "I like to press my luck." He soon wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently on her neck, chin, and mouth. Helga moaned, her whole body was on fire from Arnold's gentle kisses. She pressed her hand firmly on the small of Arnold's back, grabbing a handful of hair, pushing his head deeper into her. "You're so beautiful Cecile," Arnold moaned between kisses.  
  
When she heard him call her that name, her heart sank to the bowels of her stomach. She quickly pushed him away, staring at him with both disgust and sorrow. "I have to get out of here.I'm not suppose to be here," she said lowly.  
  
Arnold seemed dumfounded by this. "What's wrong Cecile?"  
  
She quickly became angered by him calling her Cecile and slapped him hard. "You pig!" She quickly ran out the car and into night, tears in her eyes. Arnold just sat there stunned, wondering whether to go after her or just drive home. He couldn't understand what went wrong; he did all the right moves. Meanwhile Helga was running down the black road, her purse barely hanging on to its owner's shoulder. One of her heels snapped off, making her tumble down to the asphalt hard. She laid there on the cold ground, crying her eyes out. "That pig.that stupid pig. I hate him.I hate him!" She laid there on the street what must have felt like hours before a set of headlights shone over her. Was this her guiding light of hope? Or is this the end of her misery? 


	4. The Queen of the Night and the King of t...

Helga's Homecoming Chapter 4 The Queen of the Night and the King of the Day by Shadow D. X  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard. Please R&R, if you like to see some more cameos here, I'm accepting all suggestions.  
  
Those headlights were blinding, Helga had to look down at the pavement not to burn out her retinas. There was soon a rattling noise and then a calm roar of the engine, the headlights now turned down to just a gentle glow. Helga slowly stood on her feet, her head still pounding from lying down on the cold road. She couldn't see the driver but he was motioning to enter his pickup. Usually Helga would smack this yahoo's teeth out for even suggesting that she take a ride in a broken down redneck mobile. But tonight wasn't a usual night and she had no idea where she was so she slowly walked towards it and got in. "Can you take me back to town?" she asked.  
  
The driver looked over at her, his large nose made his tall, slim face look like an ackward crow with brown hair. "What's wrong with you missy? You look like something the cat dragged in," said the driver with a heavily rural accent.  
  
"I'd rather not talk about it. So can you take me to town?"  
  
"Alright, I'm going there anyway so it's ok with me." He started his pickup and began to drive down back to town, hitting every uncomfortable bump. "I don't know what happened to you, but I'm guessing it's something that really bites."  
  
Helga raised an eyebrow and looked over at the driver. There was a thought tugging at her but she needed just one more thing to make sure. "I know it's a weird question but what's your favorite snack food?" she asked.  
  
The long-nosed bumpkin thought for a moment. "If I had to guess right now, I'd say my favorite snack is lemon pudding on account it's my favorite kind of pudding."  
  
Helga groaned lightly and sank back into the hard plastic leather seat. "Thanks for the ride Stinky."  
  
"Hey, how'd you know my name was Stinky? Are you some kinda mind reader or something? I've never met a genuine mind reader before."  
  
"No Stinky, I'm not a mind reader, I'm Helga Pataki. Remember, we went to PS 118 together, you were always hanging around Sid and Harold, I had one large eyebrow."  
  
"Hot dang, now I remember! You really have changed Helga; you used to be a grade-A meanie. I remember when you played with my emotions by making me act all lovely dovey to you back in 4th grade and then when it all sank in and I fell in love with you, you done put my down like a horse with no legs. But you look really different now with your eyebrows all-normal and you're natural feminine beauty showing cept you're a bit dirty from laying on the street."  
  
Helga glared at him for a moment but then shrugged it off. "Yeah Stinky, I guess you're right. So what have you been up to since I've been gone?"  
  
Stinky took his eyes off the road for a moment and pondered. "Well lets see, after high school, me, pappy and the whole Peterson family hitched up the old house and decided to move to the country side where we could feel more at home."  
  
"You're house? You mean you literally moved that old wood shack from your old property to the country?" Before Stinky could answer, Helga saw a car coming at them so in a panic she screamed. "Keep your eyes on the road!"  
  
Stinky quickly returned to reality and swerved out of the way. "Opps, sorry about that Helga. Anyway, that's exactly what we did; we moved our house to the country just like when my grand pappy took that house here from Arkansas. There were tried our hand at cultivating the earth and in just a few years, we were able to bring back Peterson Produce and make a pretty decent living. Since I'm still a little naïve about business, my pappy makes me take the produce to town and come back with the new orders."  
  
"Well.you're a lousy driver, but it sounds like you're life is going on the right track."  
  
"Yup, just about. I can't think of anything else I can do with my life better than working with my family doing the family business." A few moments later, Stinky stopped his pickup in front of Mickey Kaline's baseball themed family restaurant. "Well here we are. I can't be driving you nowhere special on account I'm on my way to a supermarket to pick up an order, but at least here you can grab a decent bite to eat."  
  
Helga slid out the pickup and stood by a streetlight as the pickup drove off with a bang of its exhaust. She knew where she was, but that wasn't her problem, it was what she was going to do next that made her shake in fear. Yes, it was fear, fear of the unknown, fear of losing the only man she loved. She had already been married once before coming back home. It was her first agent, but she never loved him, he was just someone to hold her in night to keep her from going into a mental breakdown. "Arnold.how can I believe that you love me if you call me another's name? How can you love the girl with two faces? Must I bear the arrows of your hate if I reveal my true self to thee? Or can the impossible happen you accept my love?" She mused to herself for almost an hour before deciding she was only succeeding in sounding insane. Just as she was about to stop, she suddenly felt a light, warm gust of breeze of her shoulder accompany a heavy wheezing. Silently she cracked her knuckles, not daring to look over her shoulder as these gusts became more rampant. With a deep breath, she cleared her mind and threw her fist over her shoulder, feeling it crack a tiny piece of glass. There was then a thud as if someone had dropped a sack of potatoes; this made Helga smile to herself. "Nice to see you too, Brainy." (Though they've all changed, I like the classic running gags they use on Hey Arnold. So much so I added this small scene despite how useless it is to the story.) Hailing a taxi, Helga returned home to find that everyone else has turned in, leaving her the only person awake. It was fine with her; she needed some sleep herself. Helga quietly entered her room, stripped down to her bra and panties, and plopped her exhausted body on the bed. Before slipping into complete nocturnal rest, she made a silent wish to any and all celestial deity to give her a good dream about her and Arnold.  
  
(Let's mix things up a bit, shall we? Form this point on, you will now see the world through the eyes of Arnold.Arnold.. umm.oh hey, it's starting)  
  
Arnold stood perfectly still, letting the steaming hot water from the showerhead pound down on his smooth well-toned skin. He couldn't stop thinking about Cecile, the mysterious blonde who had lied to him when he was 9 to get close to him and has now reappeared after almost 15 years only to push him away. Why does he do this to himself? Why must he always pursue that which he cannot have? First it was Ruth who turned out to be nothing more than an airhead and then Lila. Lila.now her name makes his stomach uneasy. Ever since his return home, Lila had been relentless into making Arnold her property. She had turned from the sweet, innocent girl he had fawned over because he foolishly tossed her aside to what she is now, an evil woman who uses everything in her power to get what she wants. No one knows why she changed; it just happened over night. When he came back, it was Lila who threw herself upon him, kissing him deeply and gently grinding her knee on his manhood so his mind couldn't focus. She said, "Arnold, I think I made you wait long enough and I'm sure we'd an ever so cute couple." This was too much for Arnold, he had learned to become a ladies man from living months at a time in France and Italy, mastering the languages and making a new temporary girlfriend in every country. Even in Russia he was able to use his charm and looks to melt the hearts of those girls born on ice. But it was all for fun and he never acted so raunchy around them like Lila was the second he started school again. After rejecting her, Lila had become extremely enraged with him and began to leave endless messages on his answering machine. In his senior year of high school, Lila began sending him nude pictures of her, sometimes just lying on her bed and some were of her at the height of climaxing. He finally decided that whatever happened to Lila, it made her stark raving mad and that there would be no force on heaven and earth that will make him date her.  
  
"Maybe this whole Cecile thing is just a trick from Lila. But that's impossible, I met both of them at different times." Arnold shook his head and tried to forget about trying to connect the Cecile she saw at Park's with Lila. He switched off the water and toweled himself off. When he reached over to grab a pair of boxers, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and couldn't help but smile. As vane as it sounds, he knew he looked good. Not just his face, those expeditions with his parents and a new fondness for exercise had given him quite the chiseled physique. Seeing himself in the mirror explained how he was so successful with dating women and he has racked up quite an impressive list of girlfriends over the years; Nadine, Rhonda, even Phoebe. Sure everyone remembers him as Rhonda's homecoming king but it was his brief relationship with Phoebe that he cherished. She was always the smallest girl in school without being referred to as a midget so when they were together, it was such a spectacle since he towered almost 2 feet over her. He was even so bold as to get her in bed with him that one night.  
  
Before Arnold could finish his journey down memory lane, he was shot back to reality by a knock on the door. He tied a towel around his waist, cracked the door open and peeked over to see that it was her mother. She must have been have been asleep because her hair was a mess and she was walking around with only a securely tied bathrobe. "Arnold, it's almost 2 in the morning. Have you been out all night teasing women again?" she asked.  
  
Arnold smirked. "What do you mean teasing mom? I get pretty serious with them."  
  
"Yes, until you decide it's not challenging for you and you go after someone else. Arnold, I'm getting old fast and I want grandchildren, not a 50-year-old womanizer."  
  
"Mom, I promise as soon as I find the right girl, I'll get serious. But right now, I'm too young to be tied down with any one woman."  
  
Stella glared impatiently at her son and crossed her arms. "Maybe if you were worth your weight in gold you can marry anyone you want at any time. But if you keep waiting, you're going to wake up old, alone, and don't forget - bald." This made Arnold quickly pass his hand on the top of his head to check the body of his hair. Stella sighed. "Arnold, what am I going to do with you?"  
  
Arnold stepped out the bathroom and closed the door. "How about letting me decide what's best for me? It's my life mom and I think I'm doing a pretty good job living it." He didn't feel like fighting with his mother tonight so he simply swaggered off and went upstairs to his room. He hasn't changed it much since he was a kid; it was the kind of room that can withstand the tide of change. He snapped off his towel and slipped into a pair of boxers. He thought about getting his own place once, since he was working as a financial consultant he had enough to get his own apartment but he stayed. Something about his old room, the skyline over his bed, his remote control furnisher, even his old potatoe powered alarm clock made him feel like this was home. He gave out a roaring yawn before throwing himself on his bed, staring at the half moon through the skyline. "If I ever see Cecile again, I'll try my best to win her over. She called me a pig.I'll have to show her I'm a gentleman." After making this silent vow, Arnold went right to sleep, dreaming of Cecile in his arms staring at the moon that shown through the skyline.  
  
Arnold was awoken the next morning by clam headed toy version of himself repeating "Hey Arnold!" Arnold groaned and pulled off one of the cables connected to the potatoe soaking in water. "I guess this just proves you can power a clock with just one potatoe for more than a decade." Arnold rolled out of bed and changed to a red flannel button shirt and a pair of faded-in jeans. "Thank god it's a long weekend, I have two more free days to find Cecile and show her how nice a guy I am." He quickly passed a comb over his hair and slid down to the kitchen for some breakfast. He wasn't alone though; there was already someone else at the table, eating as much cereal as he can. "Oh, good morning Mr. Kokoshka."  
  
Oscar looked up from his bowl and laughed. "Oh Arnold, I'm so glad to see you. You look so handsome the way you comb your hair back and wear your clothes. It's a sign of a very successful man with a great deal of generosity."  
  
"I'm not loaning you any money Mr. Kokoshka, you still owe me from the 10 bucks I loaned you last week."  
  
"But Arnold, I'm good for it. See, if you loan me 20 dollars I can give you 10 and that way I'll only owe you the 10 I have left."  
  
"Mr. Kokoshka, if I gave you 20 and you give me 10, you'll still owe me 20 dollars."  
  
"No Arnold it's simple. You give me the 20 and I give you 10, that way I pay off what I owe you. In fact, I'll give you back the other 10 and we'll be even."  
  
".Just no Mr. Kokoshka. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go to Sheena's cafe for breakfast." Arnold grabbed his keys and left the boarding house. He revved up the engine of his 65' Mustang and cruised down the calm twilight of morning. It was about 6 in the morning so there wasn't much traffic from the Sunset Arms to Sheena's cafe. After finding a decent parking spot he walked up to the counter and tapped the counter twice to grab Sheena's attention. As she turned toward him, he shot her a warm smile. "Morning Sheena, how are you?"  
  
Sheena smiled and walked over to him. "I'm ok. Hey, did you hear who's back in town? It's Helga G. Pataki."  
  
Arnold just blanked out. "Helga Pataki? What's she doing back in town?"  
  
"I'm not sure. All she did was buy a cup of coffee and then she talked to Phoebe for a few minutes before leaving. Personally, I'm glad to see an old friend come home."  
  
"Friend? I may have been gone for a few years but I remember that Helga was no friend. I'm sure she's here to make everyone miserable."  
  
"Come on Arnold, everyone changes over time. The Helga I gave a cup of coffee to was friendly, quiet, and a bit somber. I just hope there's nothing troubling her; I have a sixth sense about that. I can almost feel when someone is feeling down."  
  
"Yeah, well I still think this is just bad news waiting to happen. Anyway, can I get an order of French toast?" Sheena nodded and went to the kitchen while Arnold sat down on a stool. Helga is back in town, now that's a nightmare. But its strange, Helga was here yesterday morning after leaving town like 10 years ago and Arnold met Cecile at Park's last night after about 15 years ago. Is their being in the same town at the same time just a coincidence? Or are the two blondes closer than they seemed. After thinking about it, Arnold nearly busted a gut. "Helga and Cecile, now that's funny. It would make more sense that Cecile is tied to Lila than Helga actually being Cecile." 


	5. Broken Silence

Helga's Homecoming Chapter 5 Broken Silence by Shadow D. X  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard. Please R&R, if you like to see some more cameos here, I'm accepting all suggestions.  
  
(Ok, let's catch up with this story. Helga comes back to Seattle after leaving 15 years ago because Arnold left to South America to look for his parents. After returning, she runs into Phoebe and Olga's daughter, Heidi. Seeing herself in Heidi, Helga buys her a guitar and revisits her closet shrine, remembering the day she almost killed herself. After a drink with Phoebe at a bar and grill, she bumps into Arnold and makes out with him under the guise of Cecile. This soon makes Helga upset since Arnold moans the name of another while kissing her. The next morning, Arnold discovers that Helga is back in town since yesterday morning but he refuses to connect her with Cecile. Now, day 2.)  
  
Helga woke up Saturday morning, tired and feeling incredibly like an idiot. After slipping on a new white shirt and some jeans, she slumped down the stairs and into the kitchen in 6 of the morning, hoping she would be the only one up at this hour because of the long weekend. Good, not a Pataki in sight. After scarfing down a bowl of cereal and some toast, she went to the fridge and started rummaging for anything worth drinking to wash down all that dry food. Score; there was a bottle of orange juice with just a few drops left. Before she could slam it down, an audible cough broke her attention. As she looked to the side, Heidi was standing by the doorway with her guitar strapped to her back. "You know, I like orange juice too," Heidi said.  
  
Helga smiled and set the bottle aside. "Morning mini mariachi. Sorry but there's only enough for one but you can have it, I can always take a cup of latte."  
  
Heidi smirked ear to ear then grabbed the bottle and pored the rest into a glass. Helga went over to the coffee maker and filled it with a new load of cappuccino bean grounds. While it percolated, Helga turned to Heidi who was now eating cereal out of the box. "Played any good songs since yesterday?"  
  
"Mostly some simple melodies like twinkle, twinkle and Mary had a little lamb. But last night I really focused and I played the first 3 lines of my favorite classic rock song, Honky-Tonk Woman."  
  
"Wow, that sounds like you're really good. How about playing a few notes for your aunt Helga?" Heidi smiled and played as much of the old Rolling Stones song as she could before she tried to play a few more strings and gave up laughing. Helga smiled and filled a cup with the coffee she just brewed. "You're really good Heidi, I never heard the Stones play that good unplugged. You really should consider making this talent work for you."  
  
Heidi blushed and strapped the guitar back over her shoulder. "I can't. Every time I play outside the music room, everyone always interrupts me or just makes fun of me since the school's guitar makes me look so small."  
  
"Well take my advice and ignore them. Anyone who makes fun of you for something you like to do needs a good old fashion Pataki pounding." She closed her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. "I know it's not the Olga thing to do, but trust me kid, not everyone can afford to be little miss perfect. Sometimes you need to grow up and be as tough as life."  
  
"I guess you're right aunt Helga. But do I have to be mean to everyone? There is this one person I really like and he's always being nice to me when I'm having trouble."  
  
Helga looked down at Heidi and finished her coffee quickly. "So you like a boy huh? Does he like you the way you like him?"  
  
"I don't know.he's sort of nice to everyone, really."  
  
"Well my advice is that you don't treat this boy any different than you would anyone else. If you think they make fun of you for playing guitar, would you imagine the embarrassment if they knew you liked a boy? Take it from me kid, when you know this boy likes you back, don't give away anything." Helga knew all to well about how scaring something like that would be since her childhood was based on worshiping Arnold.  
  
Heidi looked down and sighed. "You're right, they would just laugh and pick on me. But if he likes me back, it's ok to tell him how I feel?"  
  
Helga smiled. "Kid, that answer was right on the bull's eye. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some important business I got to take care of today. Later." Helga strapped on her brown leather jacket and gave the phonebook a quick check. Since checking the white pages would take too long, she flipped through the yellow pages and quickly found Phoebe's business number in the lawyer sections. There it was, Phoebe Hyerdahl attorney at law. She picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number on the phone. She waited until Phoebe's machine answered her call. "Shit, she doesn't work on Saturdays. I guess I'll have to just cruise the streets for her." Before she reached the front door, a grim sliver of reality dawned upon her. "Right, no car. Last night I was driving with Phoebe or Arnold. I guess this means I'll be hoofing it around town today." Helga walked down the stoop and onto the sidewalk, admiring the gray morning sky that hung over the buildings of Seattle. Helga took a deep breath and stepped on down the road, looking at all that changed while she was gone. She laughed to herself as she saw her book, Madam President, displayed on the window of a Barnes and Nobles. After about an hour of walking, she found herself back in Sheena's café. Quietly, she slid into an empty booth and waited for Eugene to take her order since Sheena seems to be in charge of the counter. When she looked to the side, thinking she would see Sheena behind the counter, she saw Arnold. She almost went into hyperventilation, last night she walked out on him during a drive-in movie and now they're almost 20 feet away from each and he doesn't even know it. With some quick thinking, she quickly took the menu off the table and buried her face in it hoping no one would recognize her. Sheena knows what the new Helga looks like and if she starts pointing fingers while Arnold was around, there could be one awkward situation under this roof. "Please Arnold.don't see me." No use, a flimsy paper menu sealed in clear laminate won't cover her face for long. With a quick plan she slammed the menu down and dashed out the front door, doing her best not to look mental. She looked back inside; Arnold didn't see her. Perfect, she's in the clear.  
  
Helga took a few steps out of the café before a daytime thug confronted her. He was hiding under a bulky sweater and a black ski mask. He looked unthreatening, well, except for that knife in his hand. "Give me your money lady!"  
  
Helga scowled but smirked as an idea entered her mind. She held up her purse by the string, mocking the thug. "You want my money? It's all in here." The thug slowly took one step forward; that was Helga's cue. She snapped her purse back and swung full force at the thug's head. He reeled back and hit the wall hard, making him drop his knife. "You want it again, punk? Well here, have some more!" She then kicked the hooded man's gut over and over again before walking away in a huff.  
  
As she past Sheena's café, she heard the shuffling of feet coming from behind. As she turned around, she froze as she saw the thug pointing a gun at. Helga never felt fear like this, even though she tried to kill herself once at least she was expecting it, this was totally by surprise. Before anything happened, someone flew out of Sheena's front door and tackled the guy. The thug tried to point his gun at his attacker but he was put down with just one solid punch to the face. Helga just stood there as her savior, Arnold no less, stood on his feet and patted himself off. He took one glance over at Helga and smiled. "Am I still a pig?" he asked coyly. Helga coughed out a sob and ran into his arms, embracing him as if she would never see him again. To her luck, he held her tightly in his arms while she sobbed into his shoulder. "Can I take that as a no?"  
  
Back in Sheena's café, after Sheena had the police take the thug away and Arnold bought Helga a cup of coffee to calm her nerves, Helga slowly told him everything; the obsessions, the poetry, Cecile, everything she had done in her life because he had to walk into it and give her a reason to live. Being faced with her own mortality just a few moments ago made it easier to be honest about even the most demented of details, even the ABC (already been chewed) gum shrine made in his image. After she was finished she sighed and looked down at the rippling surface of her coffee. This was it, the moment of truth. "Well Arnold, that's it in a nutshell. I loved you since kindergarten but I never had the courage to tell you until that shit stain reminded me how fast life can be. I'll understand if you leave and never want to talk to me again.but I fell cleansed now, no matter what happens." Helga dared not look up; she just looked into her coffee, remembering Arnold, as he was when they first met. But something brought her back to reality; it was a warm feeling on the knuckles of her hands. She looked and saw Arnold's hands cupping over her own. Looking up to her beloved's face, she was surprised that he didn't seem disgusted at all, but in fact was smiling a warm smile that could melt ice. "Why are you smiling like that?"  
  
"Helga, I know what you just told me might sound weird, outrageous even. But it makes the most sense. I never wanted to relive that dinner with Cecile, it was you who I wanted to see again, the real you. There were times when you left your guard down and looked so totally kind and sweet and I knew that was the real you. And now, after all this time, you had the courage to tell me this, you're darkest secret, I know that you're the one. You, Helga Pataki, the last girl on earth I thought I would ever like, are the girl I've been looking for. I mean, you're Phoebe's best friend and she was the closest one to give me the feeling I'm having right now with you."  
  
Helga stared gawkily into Arnold's eyes, trying to make sense of what was going on. "Arnold.what are you trying to tell me?"  
  
Arnold pulled Helga's hands up so that they were both resting their elbows on the table and squeezed them gently. "Helga.I love you too. I'm not 100% sure if this makes any sense but I love you.maybe even more than I think I do."  
  
Helga could die right there. If the apocalypse came raining down on the earth and the four horsemen were taking lives like pez candy, Helga wouldn't care. This was the greatest moment of her life; Arnold and her, in a café, holding hands, and he told her that he loved her like no other woman he knows. "Oh.Arnold." Her eyes teared up and she laughed like the heavens just opened the pearly gates just for her. The two leaned over the table and kissed each other lovingly on the lips. Unlike the kisses they shared in the drive thru movie, this kiss was filled with pure love. Helga couldn't believe it, with this, her life was complete.  
  
(Ok folks, I guess that ends this story. Sorry it was so short but.huh?)  
  
Across the street from Sheena's café, a pink Corvette was parked and the driver was spying on the two newly formed lovers behind a set of binoculars. "Helga Pataki.I never thought you'd come back to town. Bitch! You think you can come back and expect to take MY man away from me? Well, I'll just have to show you why no one fucks with Lila Buccille unless they want their faces intact. After I'm done with you, you'll be too ugly for any man and you'll be begging me to put you out of your misery." The sultry red head laughed to herself manically and drove off, all the meanwhile devising a plan to destroy Helga's happiness with her new found love, Arnold.  
  
(Uh Oh, is this the end of this newly formed love? Well who knows, if I were normal, they would always be together. But I'm sick minded so anything goes! Also, Buccille is the last name of the voice actress who played Lila - $$Plugs$$ - since I cant find her real last name) 


	6. A Day of New Love

Helga's Homecoming Chapter 6 A Day of New Love by Shadow D. X  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard. If you're offended by a few.special character traits, be patient and you'll see.  
  
All that day, after Helga admitted her love to Arnold and Arnold declaring his love for her, the two went all over the city in Arnold's 65' black Mustang. The two went shopping at a the mall first, deciding the best way to celebrate their new relationship is to buy clothes based on each other's opinions. Helga changed to pink t-shirt with a low cut denim jacket and acid wash jeans. She smirked and modeled it to Arnold who was sitting in one of the waiting chairs. "So what do you think, Arnoldo? Doesn't it just scream feminine bad girl?" asked Helga.  
  
Arnold laughed and stood on his feet. "Actually I think you'd look better with a pink bow to hold your ponytail. I really miss that look on you," Arnold said, passing his hand through Helga's long blonde hair.  
  
Helga blushed and smiled at Arnold. "If you think I look good with a pink bow, I'll make it happen. But now, how about modeling you're clothes for me football head?"  
  
Arnold laughed and went into the dressing room with a small pile of clothes. He wasn't mad when Helga called him Arnoldo or football head anymore; he knew this was Helga's playful way of turning her old insults into pet names. Slipping out of his old clothes, he changed into a pair of white slacks and with a blue tennis shirt. When he came out, he looked in a mirror and frowned. "I look gay in these clothes."  
  
"You look fine, I like it," Helga said with a smirk. Arnold tried to smile but he looked back in the mirror and retreated back into the changing room. After discarding those clothes, he looked through the pile and pulled out some black jeans, a red shirt, and a black leather jacket. He was ready for Helga's critique but there was one thing missing. Kicking off his shoes, Arnold slipped on a pair of steel toe black boots. Now that what was missing. Arnold took one step outside the dressing room and smiled like he knew this was the perfect outfit. Helga just looked at him like he was being too full of himself. "You look like a rocker yuppie. What are you going to do in those clothes, drive you're muscle car to a Starbucks? No wait, this is just so you match your car."  
  
Arnold crossed his arms and looked in the mirror. "What are you talking about Helga? This is the best one yet." Helga didn't argue, she just walked to Arnold and kissed him on the nose. Arnold smiled. "So are you ready to pay for all this?" Helga shot a half glare and lightly bit the tip of his nose. "Hey! What was that for?"  
  
Helga giggled and wrapped her arms around him. "Just because I'm a semi- celebrity for my writing doesn't mean I'm going to be your meal ticket." Arnold laughed lightly, and then Helga started laughing, soon they were laughing uncontrollably. After their fit of hysterical laughter, the two bought changed back to their street clothes and split the bill for their new stuff. "Hey, I'm starting to feeling hungry. How about we stuff these bags in your trunk and find somewhere decent for lunch?  
  
Arnold shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not. But what's wrong with just grabbing a pizza here in the food court?"  
  
"Because I feel like a double-decker bacon and cheeseburger, not a pizza."  
  
Arnold gleamed with a smart-aleck smirk. "Helga, aren't you worried you'll add on a few pounds if you eat food like that?" Helga growled and stomped on his foot. "Ouch! Jeez, I can't tell you anything can I?"  
  
Helga laughed and kissed Arnold on the cheek. "Sorry Arnoldo, but I still have a problem having people criticize me, especially about my diet. But if you really want a pizza, I guess I can swallow my pride and swallow a slice."  
  
"Nah, I'm not in the mood for pizza anymore. But I do know this good burger place that serves real fire cooked burgers and some good chili fries." That said, the two left the mall with their new duds and drove down to Arnold's burger place. Helga, confident that her beauty wouldn't be affected by junk food, ordered the house special, a ¾ pound burger with a layer of onion rings, lettuce, pepper jack cheese, and mesquite barbeque sauce with a side of those chili fries Arnold told her about. Arnold just stood there in silence as Helga made her order while in the end; he just ordered some chicken nuggets and regular fries. Sitting in a corner table, Helga began devouring her monstrous concoction. "You know what, this is really good. I really should come back here."  
  
Arnold swallowed his second nugget and cleared his throat. "Aren't you afraid of what that stuff with do to your heart? I mean that burger has probably killed more people than plan crashes."  
  
Helga laughed with a mouth full of chili fries. Arnold looked a tad queasy from getting a free show of Helga's chewed lunch so she took that as a sign to swallow. "Sorry about that. But don't worry about me so much, I've been eating junk food since we we're in PS 118 and I still look as good as a I did in high school."  
  
"I'm just saying, that sooner or later all that junk food will catch up with you and make you sorry you even looked at something that touched grease." Helga just smirked defiantly and shoved the rest of the burger in her mouth making yummy sounds. Arnold laughed and shook his head. "You're just stubborn, aren't you?" Helga stopped joking around with Arnold and finished her lunch. Arnold finally got around doing the same, abandoning all hope of teaching proper eating habits to Helga.  
  
After lunch, Arnold dropped Helga off at her house. Helga turned to him as he parked and kissed him sweetly on the mouth, feeling him kiss back just as much. "Why not come in, football head?"  
  
Arnold smiled awkwardly shook his head. "Tempting as it sounds to talk to Big Bob, but I really should go home and help my dad plan his taxes. But how about we meet tonight at Park's? 9 sounds ok with you?"  
  
"Sure, sounds like fun. But this time try not make me spill my beer." The two laughed and Arnold drove off as Helga made her way up the stoop. Passing the front door, she could hear the ramble of Big Bob shouting out everything that comes into his mind without thinking. So far Helga had done a pretty good job from avoiding her family with the exception of little Heidi. Before she could rush upstairs, she could hear Heidi's name being screamed out in the living room.  
  
"Heidi, your mother and I are very disappointed in you," said Michael in a serious tone. "We do our best to make sure you grow up with all the advantages and you get into a fight with boy. How could you resort to the lowest form of human behavior?"  
  
Heidi just scowled and crossed her arms. "Hey, he wouldn't stop teasing me! Besides, all I did was grab his nose and stomped his foot."  
  
"Oh Heidi, I blame myself for this," Olga said, sobbing into her hands. "I should have been more clear when I taught you about tolerance."  
  
"That's it Heidi, we hate to do this but I'm afraid that you're going to have to be punished for this," said Michael.  
  
Struck with the fact that Heidi was just following her advice, Helga gave out a low groan and stormed into the living room standing next to Heidi. "Hey, don't punish her for standing up for herself. Just because you two granola-munching yahoos can live your life by being nice and full of world peace doesn't mean normal people like Heidi can do the same. I told her to stand up for if anyone tried to give a hard time because, bucko, that's how the real world works."  
  
Olga still looked disappointed while Michael actually looked angry. "Who told you that you could corrupt our daughter with you're negative attitude? You leave town for years, come back without any warning and the first thing you do is taint what took us years to teach our precious Heidi."  
  
Olga wiped her eyes and shook her head. "No Michael, this isn't Helga's fault. We must respect everyone's unique perspective in life, no matter how much we disagree with it. And if Heidi wishes to listen to her aunt and not.her parents.ah!" Before Olga could finish talking, she broke into another sobbing fit.  
  
Big Bob growled and jumped out of his chair. "For crying out loud Helga, look at what you did! Now your sister's crying her eyes out and I'll have to stay here until she stops."  
  
As the family went to console Olga, both Helga and Heidi made their way upstairs. Heidi almost looked like she was going to cry so Helga put her hands on her shoulders to comfort her. "Look, I know this is my fault kid, I'm really sorry. But I still think standing up for yourself is the best way."  
  
Heidi looked down at the floor and wiped her eyes. "I just feel bad cause I liked hitting Larry square in the face. Does that make me a bad person?"  
  
Helga smiled. "Nah, it means you just have a wicked cross. Look, I know this little thing with your mom and dad might seem bad but sometimes you need to stand alone to feel good about yourself. Just trust your gut and you won't go wrong."  
  
Heidi smiled and nodded lightly. "I understand aunt Helga. Thank you."  
  
Helga messed up her niece's hair and they both laughed. "Just have fun kid and try to stay out of trouble. And if you can't do that, try not to get caught." Heidi nodded and walked back to her room, later on Helga could hear her playing her guitar. As the hours pass, the clock struck 8 when there was a knock on the door. It was too early to be Arnold, who could it be? Someone downstairs has already opened the door and the visitor began rushing upstairs. Helga peeked out her door and it was Phoebe wearing a simple blue sweater and drawstring pants. "Phebes! What brings you here?"  
  
Phoebe smiled and walked into the room. "Well I had to come see you after I talked to Sheena this morning. Oh Helga, I'm so proud of you. Not only did you tell Arnold who you really are but also you finally admitted your emotions to him. How do you feel?"  
  
"Feel? I feel like I'm on top of the world! Not only is he cute and sweet, but he says that I make him feel like no other girl has ever made him feel. Phoebe, he says I'm the one!"  
  
"Wow, that is something. When we broke up he told me that I was special to him but that it could never work out as a serious relationship."  
  
"Sounds like he's either really honest or a real jerk. Well, here's hoping the latter isn't the case for me. You sure you're not a tad jealous of me?"  
  
"No, not at all. Sure it was fun for a while but I knew that we weren't going to work out. All I could do was think how cute you two would look together. So are you two going anywhere tonight?"  
  
"We're going back to Park's in about an hour. But this time, I won't be using a fake name." At about half past 8, Helga started picking out clothes to wear and Phoebe sat there trying help by critiquing her clothes. Finally, she was wearing her new pink top, her black slacks, and high- heeled ankle boots. "I look good, no question in that. But I just need one last thing." Before Phoebe could ask what Helga was planning, she dove into the closet and pulled out a long pink ribbon. "Hey Phebes, help me tie this." Phoebe nodded and tied Helga's hair into a ponytail with the ribbon. Taking a quick look in the mirror, Helga smiled. "It's perfect."  
  
Unbeknownst to the two giggling girlfriends, a poor man with a wheezing problem is being stalked down the alleys of downtown Seattle. Brainy knew something was wrong so he began running as fast as he could, almost tripping over his chicken legs several times. Before he could get in the clear, he was blindsided by a hard hit to the side of his head. He was then picked up by the collar and felt several sharp fingernails poke into his skin. When his vision cleared, he could see that it was Lila holding him by the neck. "Uh.hello."  
  
"I don't want your small talk, dweeb. I know you stalk Helga so spill it, what does she have I can use against her?"  
  
Brainy took a few wheezy breaths and thought for a moment. "Uh.I dunno."  
  
That quickly prompted Lila to give a hard squeeze of her choke hold and kneed Brainy right to his gut. "Look, nobody really cares about you. If I killed you here, who would even bother reading your obituary? No one, that's who, now tell me everything you know about Pataki!" Knowing his blight, Brainy began to spill everything he knows in a nasal voice.  
  
(Yes, isn't she evil? Personally I don't know why people don't except Lila as the psycho bitch that she really is.)  
  
Arnold; Helga? What are you doing.did you take over the story?  
  
Helga; Arnold! No, its ok, Shadow asked me to take over, really!  
  
(The closet door popped open and Shadow D. X feel on out hogtied.)  
  
Arnold; Helga! How long has he been in there?  
  
Helga; Oh, it's only been one chapter. Besides, this might not be what really happens, but I know what the people want. So stay tuned, this love story is just getting started!  
  
Arnold; Um.don't worry folks, our original author will return one day.but Helga's in control for now. So don't blame him.it's just Helga making Lila evil. 


	7. Cruel Revenge

Helga's Homecoming Chapter 7 Cruel Revenge by Shadow D. X (ahem) Helga G. Pataki  
  
Caution All characters are property of Mr. Bartlett and possibly Nickelodeon but that's a little in the gray right now for me. I'm using them simply for entertainment, not profit. Don't sue me - I'm just a misguided fan with a keyboard. And don't worry about me; I enjoy being hogtied by blonde women.  
  
Arnold; Well, its day two of Helga's dictatorship of Shadow D. X's story and she's still going at it.  
  
Helga; Trust me on this one Arnold. He needed to be stopped. I mean, no one in their right mind would read this if there wasn't some sort of controversial action. I'm doing him a favor by doing this.  
  
Arnold; Can you at least do him a favor by untying him, I think he's beginning to dehydrate.  
  
Helga; I'll take that under consideration. But now, chapter 7, enjoy everyone.  
  
As 9 rolled around, Helga almost shrieked with joy as Arnold's mustang came to a stop across the street from the house. Phoebe giggled but was successful in calming Helga down back to reality. "Thanks Phebes," Helga sighed. "I'm just a little nervous about my first real date with Arnold."  
  
Phoebe crossed her arms. "How can you be nervous about one simple date? You've already been married, wasn't that more nerve racking?"  
  
"Actually I never really loved the guy, it was my first agent. I only married him cause he put up with me for so long, I figured he deserved it." The conversation was broken by a single honk from across the street. "I'll tell you how it went later Phebes."  
  
"Good luck Helga."  
  
After making a quick mirror check, Helga rushed out the front door and across the deserted street to where Arnold parked his mustang. After stealing a quick kiss, she ran across the front and slid into the passenger side seat. Arnold was wearing a half buttoned black shirt that showed off his sculpted, hairless chest and deep blue jeans with his new boots. "Hey handsome, give a girl a ride?" she asked with a grin.  
  
Arnold smirked and shook his head. "Only if you share a beer with me at Park's, stranger." They both laughed and kissed sweetly on the lips. Arnold revved his engine and tore down the dark streets lit by the yellow tinted streetlight. "So Helga, how's your stay in town so far?"  
  
"It's ok I guess. I'm really starting to bond with my niece Heidi whenever I have free time. She's really something; she plays the Stones like she's Jagger's daughter."  
  
"Wow, that sounds pretty impressive. I hope I can meet her soon if she's even half the musician you claim she is."  
  
"Don't worry, we have plenty of time to show you off to my family. But tonight it's time for us to have some fun," Helga said with a grin. As Arnold's faded from sigh and Phoebe exited the Pataki household, the vengeful Lila grinned ear to ear.  
  
At Park's Place, Helga and Arnold strolled through the front door, making anyone with eyes turn heads to watch the two. The two sat at the bar and both ordered the same beer by accident, giggling that the two enjoy Rolling Rock. Arnold smiled softly and put his hand on her thigh. "You look really great tonight Helga. You're still the only girl I know that can pull of that pink bow look."  
  
Helga blushes lightly and put her hand on his. "Well I remembered you telling me that you liked my bow so I thought it was just appropriate for tonight."  
  
"Well I'm glad you did," Arnold said. They kissed and took a drink while they watched some of the other patrons dancing to the beat of the bar's recorded music. "Looks like fun, don't you think Helga?"  
  
"I think it look ridiculous. So why not, let's go out there look stupid together." Helga and Arnold went out to join the group of dancers when Helga saw shadowy figure looking down from the rooftop window. She wanted to just ignore it but just then, it flashed a guitar and ran off. Helga somehow knew it was Heidi's guitar; this psycho did something to Heidi! Breaking her hold from Arnold, she rushed to the stairs and ran too top floor. The lock to the door was snapped; apparently this figure wanted her to come. With a deep breathe, Helga kicked the door open and saw Heidi tied to a ventilation tube and the psycho holding her guitar. She tried to make out whom it was but a mild rain had begun to pour and her visibility was compromised. "Who the hell are you? Let my niece go!"  
  
The figure held up a razor blade, obviously the one Helga wedged into her Arnold shrine, and sliced the strings of the guitar. Helga tried to dash forward, but stopped when the razor blade threaten Heidi's neck. "I would be ever so careful if I was you."  
  
Helga snarled and balled her hands into fists. "Lila.somehow I always knew you'd be the one to ruin my happiness."  
  
Lila shoot an evil grin and kept her tight hold on Heidi's jugular. "Oh, don't worry. I won't be around much longer. I'm just here to tell you to get out of town and to leave my man alone."  
  
"What! Are you insane? Arnold's not you're man; he's mine. We're in love so that mean your outta luck, country girl."  
  
"Oh no Helga, you're the one out of luck. See, if you don't leave town and never talk to Arnold again, I'll make your lovely niece a fountain of blood."  
  
Helga bit her lip. The threat was too great and she didn't want to see her niece harmed in anyway. She was already trembling while she looked into the fearful, tear-filled eyes of her frightened niece. Her heart sank, she almost felt that surrender was the only thing she could do now. But what was stronger, her life-long love with Arnold, or her kindred bond with Heidi? No matter what she chooses, heartache was bound to follow.  
  
Helga; See folks, I told ya I'd give you want you all want.  
  
Arnold; Can you just go on already? Everyone's waiting.  
  
Helga; Alright, no more two cents. Here comes the big finale.  
  
Before Helga could give her response, Arnold suddenly flew through the open door and looked around. "Helga, what's going on up here?" he asked in frenzy.  
  
Arnold's sudden appearance made Lila lose her focus, allowing her grip on the razor to loosen and fall from his fingers. When Helga saw the rusted blade drop down to the surface of the roof, she rushed toward Lila in blind fury. The two locked hands, struggling for the advantage in this rooftop scuffle. Lila tried to fight dirty and throw a kick into Helga's gut but Helga raised her knee in time and pushed Lila back to the edge of the roof. Before Lila could recover, Helga made another dash toward her and tried to grab her by the wrists. Before another battle of holds could begin, Lila slipped on the slick roof and fell over. Helga clasped on to Lila's wrist, holding on as hard as she could to keep her from falling to her death. Lila weakly looked up and growled. "Like this changes anything. You pull me up and I'll just do whatever it takes to make you're life miserable, Helga. I'll do anything it takes to get my Arnold back."  
  
Helga's heart was suddenly filled with hate. Thoughts of watching Lila fall hard to the concrete floor below danced wildly in her head. If she let her grip go, even for a moment, Lila would never trouble her or anyone she loved again.  
  
Shadow D. X; I say nay! (Stands from the chair and forces the ropes off his body)  
  
Helga; Hey, what are you doing? This is my story now!  
  
Shadow D. X; No, no more. This ends now.  
  
Helga; Let go of that keyboard! (The two struggle for control of the keyboard)  
  
Ariel; Yes! I won! Ok, now to fix this mess.  
  
(All right, let's recap and separate reality from fiction. Lila is not in the original story, not even Arnold's memory. She's still nice and she moved back to the country to be near, you guessed it, Arnie. But everything really did happen that didn't involve Lila. So we rejoin the story where it really does leave off, the two of the dancing at Park's.)  
  
Arnold and Helga danced the night away, getting close to feel each other's body. As half past 10 came around, they stopped dancing and returned to the bar. "Hey Arnold, this is really fun but how about a change of scenery?" Helga asked.  
  
Arnold shot a smile and held Helga's hand. "I can make that happen, come on." Helga happily agreed before they flew out of Park's and piled into Arnold's car. Helga pestered Arnold with questions but all Arnold only laughed and shook his head, refusing to reveal his plan. They soon parked outside the Sunset Arms and Arnold snuck into the back of the boarding house. "Come on Helga, we'll use the fire escape."  
  
"I think I'm going to like this idea of yours," Helga said with a sly smile. They both climbed up the fire escape toward the top. As Arnold reached the skyline of his room, he clicked the latches loose and opened an entrance that lead right to his bed. He with quick move, he jumped down through the skyline, landing softly on his bed. Helga looked down and began to get cold feet about jumping down. "Maybe I'll just knock on the front door."  
  
"Come on Helga, it's just a 4 foot drop. If you want, I'm right here to break your fall." With just that, Helga threw herself down and landed hard on Arnold. They both laughed or rather Helga laughed while Arnold gave out a mixture of coughing, gasping, and laughing. After they stopped laughing, they gazed into each other eyes and locked lips in a feverish make out session. Their tongues danced wildly inside their heads, probing the deepest recesses of their skulls. Arnold used one hand to unbutton his shirt and his other hand to hold Helga's head gently, gripping her hair lightly. Helga threw one arm around Arnold's shoulder and one hand behind his head. Arnold broke away for a moment to peel the black shirt off his back. In response, Helga gripped the bottom of her pink t-shirt and pulled it off in one stroke, leaving her torso covered by only a flimsy black bra. Arnold smiled. "You look beautiful."  
  
Helga blushed and smiled back. "You're not to bad looking yourself. So this is what we came here for?"  
  
"If you feel we're ready to do this."  
  
"Oh.I'm ready. As long as it's with you.Arnold."  
  
Shadow D. X; Actually, I'm going to not go into details.  
  
Helga; What?! Come on, if anything, this is what people want to see.  
  
Arnold; I have to agree with Helga. This is pretty much the best part.  
  
Shadow D. X; Well this is my cruel revenge to you Helga. The story is postponed whenever I feel like finishing it. Oh and folks, we hope you're enjoying this.because I sure am. HA HA HA! 


End file.
